Wednesday, April 23rd was the hardest day of my short 31 year life. Sandy Bear surrendered, and went to the LORD yesterday afternoon during emergency surgery in Dallas. All day Tuesday she was lethargic and her belly seemed to be swelling. I rushed her to the emergency clinic Tuesday night, and then on to our regular vet Wednesday morning. She was bleeding internally but her vital signs were to low for the doctors here to operate. They sent us to Dallas for emergency surgery. When they got inside, there was one and a half liters of blood in her chest cavity which was coming from cancer lesions on the spleen and liver. They could not stop the bleeding, and her life expired. We had no idea that she was ill; we had been playing in the yard all day Sunday and Monday. She never even gave a hint that she was sick.

I have lost some great friends and relatives, and a grandfather that I would have considered one of my best friends, but never have I felt this much pain from loosing a loved one before. I feel like a huge part of me is gone, and someone shoved a 100 pound pole through my heart. I know most people will never understand that kind of love for just a "pet". Under their breath you can hear them say, she was just a "dog" why is he so upset. In my eyes, I see no difference, she was made of the same flesh and bone as me; she breathed the same air, and drank the same water as I did. She had a wonderful personality and without a doubt in my mind, a soul. If you don't see it, you have just never looked hard enough. She spoke to me with her eyes and body language, and we understood each other just like I was sitting, having a conversation with you. I guess when you spend almost every waking minute, with anyone for 12 years; it's hard for a strong, loving bond to not be formed.

Always faithful, she got my butt out of more than a few "altercations". On a few occasions, while on collections, I think she made the point that we needed our money better than I did! Sandy did not like it when salesman would enter our office. She would give a low growl, and always stand between them and me. I would tell her it's ok bear, and she would go lay down, never taking her eyes off them. She was the best catching dog I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. On many afternoons at work, we played spit the Sonic ice at Sandy, and she RARELY missed. In her younger days, her favorite thing at work was to play chase in the warehouse. Don't think you could hide from her, high or low she would always find you. She trusted me more than anyone I know. Reaching her paw to me from atop the water heater boxes or the dock, knowing I will always catch her, as she falls into my arms. Sandy had many tricks and "tactics" to get her way, but to make her speak in front of people she didn't know; you would swear it was torture. If you have never seen a bashful dog, you should have seen her being "forced" to speak in front of others. She would literally whisper, because she was embarrassed.

She loved the water. When Crystal and I frequented the lake often to ride Jet Ski's, she always went. She loved to sit in my lap, put her paws on the handle bars, and enjoy the cool lake breeze in her face. If you got off to swim a bit, she had to always swim to you, and make you hold her as she floated. If you didn't hold her, she was going to sink you! She loved to travel, as long as Shane was along for the long rides. They would fight in the back seat, JUST like two kids. Where I went, she went, always eager to ride no matter how far or where. Sandy moved with me 8 different times in her life, all the way back from when I still lived at mom's house. I still remember asking my Grandfather and my Dad, for the first time, "Can I bring her to work, just this once." That one time turned into 12 years!

Believe it or not, she did not like to have her picture taken. Rarely did you get more that a few shots off, before she realized it, and moved to close to you to shoot a picture of her. Sandy was very calm and mellow at work, but at home it was a different story. She loved to play, especially with Shane. Their games of tag would go on for hours sometimes. She was always allowed to play, but everybody else was not, including the cats, in the house. If someone was playing, she would get up, charge them and give a little nip. This was her way of breaking it up. She would then return to her spot, strutting like I am the queen and you will do as I say! Even though she was twice Shane and Nala's age, they could never spot a squirrel like she could. To see them play, one could never tell her age.

It was common ritual at our house in the evenings before bed, for her and me to lie on the floor in front of Dad's box fan (I never gave it back, sorry Dad). If I wasn't careful I would fall asleep lying there, usually with my head on her side. She enjoyed taking naps with us; I think she liked being Crystal's "pillow". She would drive Crystal crazy with her "Movie Meal" begging. I guess I didn't help the situation, always sneaking little something when Crystal wasn't looking. She was always happy, and made others happy, just being around her. If she could talk in a way that you could understand, she would probably embarrass the shit out of me, with times I KNOW she was laughing at me.

Sandy Bear, until we meet again, and I believe we will, know that I will never forget you and a part of me goes with you. Most people wouldn't understand our bond, and that is o.k. It was just between you and me anyway. For those that did know her well, they were forever touched by her special friendship. I hope in the end, you knew how much I loved, and still love you, and that you felt as though I was a good Dad. I wouldn't change a thing, because if I did we might not have had you. You made my life all the better, and got me through some hard times. I just wish it could have lasted forever. Thank you for your unconditional love and loyalty, the kind that I could probably only wish to strive to match. There will NEVER be another SANDY BEAR!!! Godspeed to you baby bear, it's been a good ride, we will NEVER forget. I Love You,

Chris

If you would like to see a video about Sandy, click here.